Skip to content

An Ear Pulling

March 9, 2014

Originally posted on The Disciplinary Wives Club:

Hello Aunt Kay,

I wish to share the transformation in my marriage with my lovely young wife ever since she showed me the DWC website four months back. I would like to inform the readers that both me and my wife are from northern India and are settled in California.

We have been married for three years now and I have very much been the person who has been dominant in our marriage. My wife is a shy housewife who enjoys having fun but till recently, in traditional ways. One evening, she made me read some of the DWC stories aloud and giggled and teased me saying that she was thinking of using DWC techniques on me if I did not ‘behave’. I thought she was just being funny and avoided the topic little knowing that she meant what she said…

Life went on normally for the next few days…

View original 791 more words

January 17, 2013

toy4her:

he has a wonderful wife.

Originally posted on a man in my position:

dominant wife, whipped husband

Take your postion darling

“Well darling, you certainly have forgotten your place.” Hannah spoke as she sat on the side of our bed. “Imagine going out last night without asking permission. And I have the receipt. $15.00 and, I’m sure, a generous tip. Call it twenty.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I won’t have it. So, today I am going to whip you. One stroke for each dollar. But, if it happens again it will be two strokes. Now, get in position.”

I went to the end of the bed and stepped out of my sleeping panties. Hannah warmed me up with her hand. “I won’t have you wasting our money on the pub and I certainly expect to be asked for permission if you want to go and have a beer.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good. You are not going to forget this.”

I heard the hiss of the cane through the air. Hannah was…

View original 107 more words

January 13, 2013

Originally posted on thiswifesturn:

Hello sweetie!!!  I have wanted to tell you so much for so long how thankful I am that you opened my eyes, my mind, and my world.  Yes, it took me some time to get to this point, and yes, I was hurt at first.  Maybe hurt is not the best word, maybe shocked and floored would be a better way to say it.  I think most women would be shocked when they hear that their husband wants them to have sex with other people, but that is the way we are told to think in our society.  Men are allowed and even expected to lust after other women, but we gals are expected to stay true to our men and  we want and expect our men to protect us with a violent jealousy. 

But that is not the way it has to be.  I, as a woman, should be…

View original 1,072 more words

Better Spouses | Welcome to Better Spouses!

January 1, 2013

Welcome to Better Spouses!

By Vivian

This site is intended primarily for the woman who wants to improve her marriage.
The information and techniques described within are tried and tested and will accomplish the following results.

  • Improve your husband’s attitiude toward his marriage.
  • Assure that your husband enjoys remaining faithful to you.
  • Make your husband more cheerlful, less cranky, and much easier to live with.
  • Assure that your husband does his share of work around the house.
  • Increase the intimacy and communication in your marriage.
  • Energize your sex life –making it more satisfying for you and your husband.
  • Increase the happiness, satisfaction and security you feel in your marriage.
  • Make your husband more romantic and attentive to you.

It is unbelievably simple to accomplish these things. You only need to be open to learning and to putting the lessons you learn to good use. Come on in and find out!

Keep your minds open Ladies. The key to having a betterspouse is “Domestic Discipline.”

Principles of a Betterspouses Marriage.

  • Marriage is the foundation of healthy families and the foundation of a
    just society.
  • Faithfulness of Heart, Mind, and Body to the marriage is essential to
    the health of the individual and the family.
  • Sexual fidelity need not be dull and unimaginative for you or your husband.When the wife practices certain techniques, a lifestyle of sexual fidelity takes on an excitement for her husband that is unequaled by anything he has ever experienced.

Welcome | Toward a fantastic marriage | How to make him adore you | Punishment | Why this works | The moral advantages | The gift of hope | The specifics | About sex | My story | How will I know | Getting started | Faq’s

Better Spouses | The gift of hope

January 1, 2013

TOWARD A FANTASTIC MARRIAGE: How and why Domestic Discipline works.

An essay by Vivian (part 6).

The gift of hope

Many of the concerns I have heard from women for the past two years as I have been promoting Domestic Discipine is that its techniques may be demeaning to him, hurt his self-esteem, cause him to be resentful of me, encourage immaturity in him, etc…. On the face of it, it seems a difficult argument to make that punishing, humiliating, and controlling a man’s genital functioning will result in greater self-esteem and psychological health, but it is true.

A good place to begin is with an understanding of consensual Dominnant/submissive sexual relationships (AKA D/s). As I’ve said, Domestic Discipipline is not S&M, but it is informed by the S&M and D/s communities. In true D/s relationships it is understood that while one partner takes a superior/dominant role and the other an inferior/submissive role, neither party is truly inferior. In fact, it has been observed frequently that those who are prone to taking submissive roles are actually of extremely high intelligence and, in daily life, are commonly in positions of power and responsibiltiy in the business and professinal world. Accpeting a submissive role is good therapy for one who must accept a lot of responsibility in other areas of life.

This is the model of understanding we use in Domestic Discipline. The model many women erroneously think of when considering Domestic Discipline is one of domestic abuse that we most often see men perpetrating against women. Those relationships are characterized by a man who has superior physical strength, and often superior financial strength, and is using that strength to dominate a women in ways she does not want. The submissive partner in this scenario is forced into her role rather than agreeing to and accepting it. The submissive partner in a domestic abuse scenario does not have an ability to escape that role without leaving the relationship. Domestic Discipline is quite different. By giving the physicaly (and often financially) weaker partner the dominant role we assure that the relationship is not abusive, but loving. This kind of agreement is sometimes referred to in the S&M world as “consensual non-consent.” This is discussed in more detail in The Specifics, but every marriage that uses Domestic Discipline should have a “safe phrase.” This is a word or phrase the husband can use to end a disciplinary measure when the wife has taken him too far beyond his boundaries. Such a devise is not available to people is abusive relationships.

While we as dominant wives understand that we are superior in many ways (as I mention on the home page of this site), our husbands have many gifts and are superior in other ways. Men are generally better at competing than women are. They seem to have a proclivity for overt competition. That is why they are often better at making money. This is not to say that women are not making great strides in this area and that some women are not better at competing and making money than some men are. It is simply to point out that men are goal oriented and wired to compete.

This male orientation toward goal achievement and competition is generally a good thing but it can cause problems in a marriage. When directed outward toward the world with the objective of securing resources for the family, the man’s need to compete, achieve goals and win is adaptive and helpful for the family. But what often happens is that the man does not see himself winning in his competition in the world and turns that competitive drive toward his wife. This is a terrible thing for a marriage. The wife who simply wants to be appreciated by her husband, not to compete with him, finds herself competing with him because he has initiated that dynamic and it seems the only for her to make him understand that he should appreciate her. This can be the death knell of a marriage. Domestic Discipline squashes this dynamic immediately. There is no competition in the marriage because it is understood who rules. Just as when your husband first fell hopelessly in love with you, he understands that he has been vanquished. This understanding is reinforced with every disciplinary session and every time he has a sexual thought and is reminded that you control his sexuality.

Hope

This drive to compete and succeed is adaptive in many ways, but it can also lead a man to despair. Especially around mid-life when most men find that they have not achieved and may not be able to achieve the lofty, sometimes unspoken, goals they have set for themselves. The world seems a much tougher place to succeed in at 35 or 40 than it did at 18 or 25. The hope a man had of “making his mark” in the world turns into despair as he ages and sees his chances of achieving his grandiose dreams fading. This is often the psychological dynamic at mid-life. Throughout most of his adult life he has been motivated by dreams formed at adolescense of being a rock star, a famous leader, an entrepreneurial phenomenon, top gun, universally adored hero, etc…. At mid-life he sees the reality that he’ll be lucky, if he works real hard and is very careful, to avoid being a dismal failure.

How does something as simple as Domestic Discipline help such a deep deated despair? In two ways.

The first way is giving him something attainable to hope for — an orgasm. As I mention in My Story, men masturbate more often then we imagine they do. They have an erection and the first chance they get, whether they are alone or with us, they relieve their sexual tension with ejaculation. Most men do not have the self-discipline to refrain from doing so. And most are unaware of the psychological and physical benifits of such restraint. Most modern popular sex therapists propagate the notion that relief of sexual tension is always a healthy thing. I agree that for the man who is not in a committed relationship, especially one who is young and flooded with testosterone and prone to sexual aggression, it is much better to masturbate than to act out sexual aggression in other ways. For the married man past his twenties, however, ejaculatory restraint works wonders to help him acquire extra energy and HOPE.

When a man is denied an orgasm for a period of time the desire to have an orgasm becomes stronger. The longer gratification of sexual release is deferred the more central it becomes as a goal to be accomplished. And unlike many of the goals middle-aged men set for themselves, this one is achieveable. He comes home from work thinking, “maybe tonight?” He comforts himself when things are not going well with the thought that soon he may have an orgasm. The events of almost every day in the life of a middle-aged man offer proof that the ambitions he had for himself in youth will probably not come to fruition. That is why despair is so common in these men. Despair is the most destructive feeling a person can feel. It is worse than physical pain or humiliation. In any recipe for happiness, hope is the only universally necessary ingredient.

You may wonder why a man cannot simply deny himself an orgasm on his own. Why does he need your invovlement and direction in the matter? While there are men who possess the self discipline for this (eastern celibates and accomplished Tantric practitioners), most men need help. For most men there is simply no point in this kind of restraint if it is self-directed. There is no fun in it either. While it is intensely erotic for a man to be intentionally denied an orgasm by a woman, self-directed denial feels pointless and the furthest thing from erotic.

That is why it is extremely important that the denial of orgasm be intentional. Some of the women I know who have come to realize the wonderful effects of sexual frustration on their men still fail to take overt control over it. They have a hard time saying no in general and in particular have a difficult time denying their husbands anything. So they make up excuses for why an orgasm is not possible at a given time such as, “I’m too tired” or “There’s not enough time.” This is a mistake. If a man feels that the reason he is being deinied ejaculation is one of circumstance, he will simply masturbate and may resent his wife for being disinterested or neglecful. If, on the other hand, he has been brought to excitement and denied release intentionally and feels it is important to his wife that he not ejaculate, the experience is powerfully erotic for him and supports his committment to self-restraint. When you deny him an orgasm it is best to look direclty in his eyes and tell him “no.” Doing this provides him the psychological orgasm I have previously mentioned and intensifies his devotion to you. Even if the real reason is that you are too tired or some other circumstance, tell him he may not have an orgasm for some other reason such as “I don’t think you’ve earned one yet” or “the time has not yet come” or even the arbritrary “I don’t feel like letting you have one yet.” This lets him know that you are in control of this, not mere circumstance.

Being so direct about denial is difficult for many women. Especially for those wives who enjoy pleasing their husbands and especiially after he has already gone a while without ejaculation and has been so wonderfully sweet to you that you want to show him your appreciation. You must remember that denial actually does make him happier. You may also want to simply indulge yourself in the feeling of power this gives you. When you take pleasure in this power it is better for you and him. It is your power in the situation that makes it most erotic for him. Building up his passion until he is begging for release and firmly denying him can be a lot of fun for both of you.

Doing this also reinforces his feeling that ejaculation is an important goal. It is only by making this goal difficult to achieve that gives it the power to comfort him. If he can achieve sexual release any time he wants there is little anticipation of it. The built up anticipation leads to a hope that can overshadow many disappointments and prevent a generalized despair.

One word of caution. There are women who enjoy his atttiude so much when he is chastened that they make him wait so long that he begins to think he will never have his orgasm. These are the women who keep long-term chastity devices and methods inplace for months or years. While it seems there are men who derive some benefit from this, most will not. This will eventually have a negative effect as ejaculation becomes another unattainable goal. I recommend parameters of no shorter than a week and no longer than a month or maybe two months for extreme discipline.

Along with gift of hope is another psychological benefit for you husband in all this. One that also benefits you because of its effect on his behavior. This benefit has to do with his adaptation to the sexual frustration you cause him. It is known is psychology that an important determinate of depression is one’s level of frustration tolerance. People with a low tolerance of frustration are more prone to depression. A higher tolerance for frustration is a psychological strength that helps prevent depression. The more sexual frustration you make him tolerate, the more he learns to cope with frustration and the calmer and psychologically stronger he becomes. This makes him a happier person and a more enjoyable person for you to share your life with.

The second way Domestic Discipine engenders hope has to do with its punishment aspect. Most men beleive they are not fulfulling their potential and they are mostly right about this. If they acted as their best selves want to act, they would not only be better husbands but more successful in other areas as well. So, you can do your husband a great favor by offering discipline not only in matters important to you, but in order to support his own goals as well. Most men need external motivation to achieve their goals. So, ask him about his goals for self-improvement and, if they are acceptable to you, include them among behaviors that provoke discipline or earn reward. By using Domestic Discipline in this manner you are giving him a gift he cannot give to himself. He will be grateful to you and feel more hope in himself.

You should remember to apply discipline with the same fervor for his failure to live up to his own standards as you do when he fails to live up to yours. Aside from giving him hope, this also makes you a more constant presence in his mind and increases his devotion to you.

All of this may sound silly to many women. To a certain extent it is. What is wrong with a little silliness, though, especially when its rewards are so great.

Welcome | Toward a fantastic marriage | How to make him adore you | Punishment | Why this works | The moral advantages | The gift of hope | The specifics | About sex | My story | How will I know | Getting started | Faq’s

Better Spouses | Why this works

January 1, 2013

TOWARD A FANTASTIC MARRIAGE: How and why Domestic Discipline works.

An essay by Vivian (part 4).

Why this works

There are few levels to this question. One is why would he submit to me, follow my directions, do as I tell him, accept harsh discipline from me? Another facet of this question is why is it effective at changing behaviors he hasn’t changed in years? The third way this question may be interpreted is why does discipline and restriction (forced chastity) make him behave generally better and more lovingly toward me? Let’s examine each of these layers separately.

1. Why would he cooperate with this?

This is pretty simple. Most men will cooperate with domestic discipline because it is a game. It’s only part game, but it is the part that is a game that wins his willingness to participate. Men love games. They especially love games that are somewhat sexual in nature. Domestic Discipline draws upon early adolescent sexual fantasies to create an exciting psychodrama for him.

Most of the sexual fantasies men entertain are not good for a marriage. They usually involve a variety of sexual partners and do not include his wife. They tend to separate a man psychologically and emotionally from his wife even if he doesn’t act on them. They cause him to be “unfaithful in his heart.” Domestic Discipline, however, exploits the only fantasy that can cause him to be more devoted to his wife, in thought and deed.

Before you go worrying that such a fantasy is a sign of a serious psychological or emotional problem rooted in some terrible abuse as a child, let me explain its origins and help you understand that it’s nothing unusual or pathological. Young boys, moreso than girls, are prone to overt sexual feelings when they are very young. That’s because the penis is external and more prone to stimulation than the clitoris. Anyone who has had a baby boy has noticed his erection at certain times — when changing his diaper or giving him a bath. It simply happens, not because the boy has any idea about sex or is even having sexual thoughts. It’s just because the penis is right out there and easily accidentally stimulated. Even though the baby boy has no conscious notion about sex, the experience of these powerful women in his life causing this strange and pleasant sensation nestles its way into his little subconscious.

Even though boys mature physicially later than girls do, they begin to have strong sexual feelings before puberty. As this is happening, the bodies the of the girls his own age have not yet developed the visual shape that triggers a sexual response in a boy — wide hips, breasts, buttocks. It is usually his female teachers, his friends’ mothers, even his babysitters that evoke his sexual arousal. These are older, powerful women to him. His sexual attraction to them takes place often before he knows what sex is. As he tries to imagine physical intimacy with these women, the only scenario he can imagine that would put his naked genitals close to such a woman is one in which she takes down his pants and puts him over her knee or examines him in such a way that he is humiliated in front of her. Even if he does know what sex is, he knows that he is not a man and would never do as a normal sexual partner for such a woman.

The fantasy of being dominated, by the way, is not unique to men. Obviously, many women also harbor this fantasy. It has been, over the centuries, encouraged in women. If you fantasize about submission and are reluctant to dominate your husband because you’d rather it be the other way around, don’t fear. Read the About Sex section of this web site.

Domestic Discipline is a game that allows him to experience his strong, embedded desire to submit to a superior woman. That’s why he’ll cooperate.

2. Why is it effective at changing specific behaviors?

Because Domestic Discipline is only part game. Part of it is serious business. When you punish your husband, you must do so seriously. When he is over your knee you do not want to allow yourself to feel sympathy for him or to slap his buttocks weakly or playfully. If you do, it will not be effective at changing his behaviors. In fact, it may reinforce the behavior you are trying to eradicate. No, he may take his place over your knee when commanded to do so with the thrill of the game, but once you get going with the punishment, you must make it hurt. When you scold your husband before, during or after a punishment, it must be with a serious tone. Your husband must feel real pain, discomfort and humiliation. You’ll want him begging you to stop long before you actually stop and you want the sting and those welts on his buttocks to linger for a few days after the punishment has been executed. That does not mean that you cannot have a sense of humor about the whole thing. It is, in fact, very funny and humor is an important part of this kind of relationship. You can laugh at him or with him at times. It is probably important that he see your humor expressed so he is reminded that you are a real person, not just a fantasy woman. That said, it is important that during a punishement, he feels the seriousness of his offense.

That is what makes it effecive. Once you are done, he will want to do everything he can to prevent this from happening again, at least for the days it takes for his skin to cool down and the weeks it takes for his memory to fade.

I’m going to address a few concerns here. Some women worry that giving such serious punishment is cruel and will cause her husband to resent her or try to get her back. It is not cruel. It is actually very kind. This is discussed further in the The Gift of Hope. Your husband will certainly not resent you either. Remember, he secretly wants this from you. Your husband will be grateful. He will feel more loving toward you after he’s been punished. He will also feel more secure.

He will feel more secure because, like a child, he needs to feel that he will not spin out of control. Men are more childlike than women in this regard. Compare the kinds of institutios men set up with those that women create. Women create social orders where control is achieved through subtleties and facial expressions. Men create institutions like the military and prisons where conformity is achieved through overt disciplinary means. Men know they cannot be controlled through the means commonly used in society today. They know they need concrete limits and consequences for exceeding those limits in order to feel they are safe from losing control of themselves.

On another level, domestic discipline helps his psychological well being. There is a deep need in the psyche to be punished for misdeeds and shortcomings. If that punishement does not come from without, it will come from within. For most people, the punishment that comes from within is more damaging and less helful than that which is imposed from without. Punishement from within is charactorized by negative self talk such as, “I’m so stupid” or “I’m so weak” or “I’m such an ass” or “I’m nothing but a failure.” On the other hand, when someone is actually punished for a failure, he or she can let the thing go and learn from it. There is no need to punish the self because that has already been done. It frees one to move on and improve.

Another concern many woman have is that while they’d love to be able to improve their husband’s behaviors and attitudes in the ways achieved through Domestic Discipline, they don’t want an adolescent for a husband. They want a man they can look up to and admire. A woman wants a man who will sweep her off her feet, not grovel at her feet. This is a legitimate concern. The thing to keep in mind is that Domestic Discipline is only one facet of your relationship with you husband. One of its benefits is that it gives you the opportunity to tell him exactly what you expect from him. That expectation can include whatever your idea of a perfect husband is. Most of the time, he will behave in ways that more closely match your ideals, especially in public and around other people. No one is perfect, however, and he will need to be disciplined with some regularity. When providing discipline, make a point of enjoying it, the power of it. Indulge the part of you that likes being in control. When he is enduring discofort, remember that he is enduring it for you! He is proving his devotion and love to you. This kind of relationship is much more common than you would think. There is no way of knowing how many marriages use domestic discipline. But any time you look at a marriage and think, “I wish my husband acted more like that one,” suspect that domestic discipline is invovled.

3. Why does discipline and restriction (forced chastity) make him behave more loving toward me?

Forced chastity is the best part of all this. When your man is full of pent up sexual energy and dependent upon you for its release he is truly at his best. Part of it is chemical/hormonal. Part of it is psychological. Built up sexual energy is exactly that, energy! A normally lazy man who has not had an orgasm in a long time is full of energy. He wants to do things. He needs some way to either express or sublimate that sexual energy. All you have to do is tell him the things he needs to do. He’ll do them!

That extra energy is why his chastity needs to be controlled by a woman who loves him. When that is the case, his submissive sexuality will emerge. When chastity is not cotrolled, his aggressive sexuality will emerge and that is usually not a good thing.

When controlled by his wife, chastity makes a man so much sweeter than he would otherwise be. He becomes thoughtful of his wife, he pays attention to her, listens when she talks, wants to know more about her. Because she holds the key to his sexual release he is intensely interestd in her.

Some women may be turned off by this (believe it or not). Such a woman may think it’s superficiall of him to only be interested in her because she controls his ejaculations. She would prefer that her husband show interest in her because he is “truly” interested, not because he is forced to be interested. The thing to remember is that if you are controlling your husband in this way it is only becuase he is allowing you to. He understands that this is what he needs in order to be the kind of husband he really wants to be. It is his love for you that allows him to give you this kind of control. He needs help in order for what is truly in his heart to manifest itself in his behavior. He knows this.

When a man’s orgasms are not controlled, he is a much different person. He is crankier, more demanding of his wife, less interestd in her. Try this experiment. Tell your husband to refrain from masturbating for a week. Be loving with him during that week but do not allow him an orgasm until the week is up. Then, to be sure, give him an orgasm two days in a row. Now observe his behavior for the next two or three days and compare it with his behavior the two or three days pror to his orgasms. You will see a marked difference and it will be merely a hint of what you can expect to acheive through Domestic Discipline. Most of this difference is not intentional on his part. It is biochemical. Some of it is intentional. But he is only able to be really wonderful toward you with the help of his sexual desire and need for you. It’s just the way it is girls, you can either bemoan the facts or use them to your (and your husband’s) advantage. Have fun with it!!!

Welcome | Toward a fantastic marriage | How to make him adore you | Punishment | Why this works | The moral advantages | The gift of hope | The specifics | About sex | My story | How will I know | Getting started | Faq’s

Better Spouses | Toward a Fantastic Marriage

January 1, 2013

TOWARD A FANTASTIC MARRIAGE: How and why Domestic Discipline works.

An essay by Vivian (part 1).

Do you remember how your husband treated you when you were first dating? Was he more thoughtful then? Did he look forward to being with you? Didn’t he try to please and impress you? If you’ve been married for any length of time you’ll probably find that the man you married is a bit (or a lot) differnent from the man you’re married to. Lets talk about the reasons for that difference.

When your husband first became interested in you, he was unsure of the extent to which you were interested in him. He wanted you and he wanted you to want him. He looked to signals that you were interested. He thought about every word you said, every facial expression and every subtle inflection of your voice. He paid attention! And when he was not with you he analyzed all these things looking for clues, clues to help him understand how to “win you over” and clues as to how he was faring in his pursuit of you. He thought about you!

You may not have noticed it at the time because you were too busy trying to win him over, looking for clues yourself. Odds are that the more difficult you made it for him to win you over the better he treated you and the harder he tried to please and impress you.

One of the diffences between men and women is their romantic/sexual attention span. A woman, generally, is focused on keeping the partner she has won. A man is wired differently. Once he has won his prize or acheived his goal he is prone to look toward the next conquest. So, as a woman begins to nurture the relationship, the man begins to neglect it. This is why women so often become bitter or dissollusioned in marriage. Her efforts at nurturing her marriage and pleasing her husband only serve to reinforce his sense that the chase is over. He becomes complacent. He expects more and gives less. Even if in his true heart he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, on another level he became bored with you the moment he realized he “had” you. This is one of the reasons men are more likely to be unfaithful in marriage. Even for those men who are not technically unfaithful, this dynamic causes a sense of dissatisfaction and restlessness that often leads to other undesirable behaviors such as gambling, pornography, drug and alcohol abuse, workaholism, get rich-quick schemes, an overindulgance in fantasies about other women and simple irritiability. All of those things deprive you, your marriage and your family of your husbands active involvement and attention.

Beauty and power

These are the things that pull his strings. A key component of every man’s sexuality is awe. When he sees a beautiful woman’s face or an attractive figure he is drawn almost against his will. The power that beauty has to take his attention is not lost on him. He is awestruck and overcome by that power. Have you ever noticed how men behave toward a beautiful woman? They fall all over themselves to please her in some way. Even when there is no way such behavior will result in a sexual experience men become the willing servants of beauty. Think about it. You’re husband’s in a traffic jam. He’s mad. Somebody tries to cut in ahead of him. He curses and revs his engine and inches up to be sure the other car doesn’t get an inch ahead of him. Another car comes into view and wants cut ahead of him. A pretty face peeks out and waves a delicate hand. What does your husband do? If he’s anything like mine, the same man that cursed and screamed at the car before suddenly becomes gracious. He smiles and nods and lets the lady pass. In this situation he may have his wife and kids in the car and be travelling through a place he will never be again. So there’s no chance he thinks he’ll ever see that woman again. Still, the instinct kicks in. There is power he cannot resist and he is amazed at his own helplessness. He is in awe of those who can elicit that helplessness. And the most important thing I’ve found is that a man is most helpful to a woman when she makes him feel helpless.

Power and beauty

The preceding observation is obvious to most women. We feel it far too often. We see our husbands looking at other women as if they were goddesses and looking at us as if we were mere functionaries, striving to be helpful to women they hardly know and ignoring the needs of the woman who dedicates herself to him and his family. Sometimes we become angry and resentful of our husbands, knowing that it is simply not right that he looks at other women with the passion that rightfully belongs to us. Sometimes we get down on ourselves, feeling unatractive and taken for granted and cheated out of his affection.

Although there are some exceptions (women who are so beautiful and remain so beautiful that they can inspire their husbands with that beauty even after years of marriage) for most women, even attractive ones, it is not possible after years of cohabitation and child bearing to become beautiful enough to inspire the kind of awe that will motivate her husband. So, what can a woman do?

She can understand that this. Not only is there power in beauty, there is beauty in power! The “take my breath away” kind of awe that a man feels when he sees a stunningly beautiful woman is similar to the feelings he had as a young adolescent toward women of power in his life — teachers, neighborhood moms, and strict women in general.

In order to make your husband and better man and a better spouse, you need to make him eager to win your approval and fearful of earning your dissapproval. You must exert the kind of power that grabs his attention, makes you beautiful to him and takes his breath away. You must make him adore you again!

Welcome | Toward a fantastic marriage | How to make him adore you | Punishment | Why this works | The moral advantages | The gift of hope | The specifics | About sex | My story | How will I know | Getting started | Faq’s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 155 other followers